Official Letter to the Good People of Colon, North Carolina (And the greater Sanford region)

To the Honorable Residents of Colon, North Carolina (and the greater Sanford region),

It has come to my attention that your community - historically known as Colon - shares its name with my own beloved village of Colon, Michigan: the Magic Capital of the World, the largest Colon in the United States, and the only Colon where a blindfolded driver was once stopped by a bicycle cop and simply advised to remove the blindfold.

While I fully support regional identity, cultural heritage, and the freedom to name a place whatever you want… multiple Colons within one nation quickly becomes a mess.

Therefore, in the spirit of national clarity and digestive harmony, I respectfully request that Colon, NC consider the following:

Because your community remains historically recognized yet municipally integrated into the greater Sanford area, I wish to honor that unique position with a symbol of equal nuance.

The Pilcrow (¶), once used to mark the beginning of a new paragraph, now rarely appears, much like the independent designation of Colon, NC.

In tribute to this shared status, we respectfully invite you to adopt the honorary title of Pilcrow, North Carolina.

This is not a demotion.
It is simply an accurate punctuation of the map.

Your town’s standing, reputation, and local pride remain wholly unaffected.

Thank you for your consideration in this matter of national importance.

Respectfully,

BJ Mallen
Colon, Michigan - The Magic Capital of the World